Fought Disorder by Oliver Delgaram-Nejad Review
Ten years ago, Oliver Delgaram-Nejad experienced his first psychotic episode. "Fought Disorder" documents the four weeks he spent mostly unmedicated in the Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU), suffering from the delusion that he was starring in a Truman Show-style experiment orchestrated by Derren Brown. Delgaram-Nejad proves to be exceptionally honest and open about his experience with schizophrenia, shedding much-needed light on a condition that still suffers from poor representation in the media.
Readers are introduced to Oli (as Delgaram-Nejad refers to himself throughout the book) in the midst of a delusion during an attempted escape from the PICU. The scene kicks off with this gem of a line: “If you try and climb the gate, there’s a good chance that you’ll hurt your testicles.” Oli is unconcerned with the potential pain, believing it would be humorous to viewers and make for great TV. This exchange between Oli and a staff member is indeed amusing for readers, providing a light-hearted moment before delving into some of his darker delusions. Delgaram-Nejad skilfully brings in humour throughout the book, something that another writer might not achieve. In an interview with BBC Upload, he mentioned he hoped to introduce humour where most people wouldn’t expect it, and this intention comes across clearly. Another key theme within the book is hope—the hope that one can get better, and that things which seem dark or sad now will appear funny in hindsight.
Throughout the book, we are able to experience the thought processes Oli went through during his delusions. Delgaram-Nejad reportedly started writing this during his last week in the PICU, once the medications began to settle in and the fog was starting to lift. This left him with short vignettes that act like puzzle pieces that don’t quite fit together seamlessly, but allow your mind to fill in the blanks. Just as his own mind filled in the blanks, often to his detriment. It really brings the reader into his disorientation at the moment. According to Delgaram-Nejad, he changed very little about the actual writing from this time, despite the decade that has passed and his skills as a writer improving. This unpolished style is sometimes absent in biographies, creating a very earnest expression for readers to get as close as possible to understanding what it is like to go through psychosis. The writing style is very informal and direct, and only one or two sections include reflections from Delgaram-Nejad in the present time to acknowledge the irrational parts of the delusion, helping the narrative stay on track.
Underlying everything within the prose are quotes from movies, books, and people, as well as poetry. This layering adds a unique element to the fragmented storytelling that is rarely seen in non-fiction. The way these quotes are interwoven throughout the chapters brings in a lot of personality and some of the aforementioned light moments.
Oli himself is a very likeable person, and Delgaram-Nejad doesn’t shy away from being self-aware of his actions. He admits to smoking cannabis and how this could have contributed to his condition. He acknowledges staying with Emma out of comfort for so long, and this honesty enhances the book. Oli is genuine, relatable, and normal. He uses pop culture references throughout the book, giving the reader a feel of who Oli is outside of his delusions. This makes readers realise how devastating mental illness like schizophrenia can be. You don’t need to be a certain type of person or experience a major life event. Sometimes it’s just a little buildup of things, or it could be nothing at all. Oli was a perfectly normal, healthy 23-year-old, and then he wasn’t.
This is what makes the book both accessible and valuable. It was written with the intent to give professionals who dedicate their lives to studying and treating mental illness a firsthand insight, but it also provides understanding and comfort to those who have gone through it, watched a loved one endure it, or are simply open to learning about it. Personally, I found it very useful, having witnessed the struggles within my own family, and I can honestly say it has helped me understand them a lot better.
Mental health and the NHS are unsurprisingly significant parts of the story and overarching themes. The book highlights the underfunding of mental health services and how little is still known about effectively treating mental illness, particularly illustrated through Oli's treatment. Due to medical complications, he was unable to be medicated for most of his time in the PICU, making him suffer the delusion much longer than he should have had to. Most shockingly, the understanding that it didn’t get better. In 2014, there were no spaces available in his local hospital, and the situation has only worsened post-COVID. In 2024, more than 1 in 7 adults admit to struggling with their mental health, leading to overwhelmed services and future Olis being made to wait before getting treated. Post-recovery, Delgaram-Nejad has made this a focal point of his life; he spent some time working in the same mental hospital where he was originally committed and has recently earned a PhD on formal thought disorder in schizophrenia.
"Fought Disorder" is a deeply personal story that resonates with anyone affected by mental illness, either personally or through others. It offers a profound level of understanding that is not to be taken for granted. Delgaram-Nejad's writing is filled with kindness and clarity, even amidst the foggy vulnerability of the subject matter.
